Friday 22 October 2010

The Rooney Farce - A Tale of Greed and Sleight Of Hand

So now we can all go back to our normal lives. We got angry. We kicked and screamed. We felt mugged off. And now.....a feeling of empty hollow with a touch of strange jubilation.

To view the events of this week in chronological order would be a waste of time. Everyone including their Mothers had their say, and eventually Rooney signed his know?..the one he didn't want.

In short, it was one great big happy domestic mess. Today the Manager and the Boy Wonder posed together in family bliss and all is (sort of) forgiven and forgotten. But I'm yet to hear a fan that represents that picture of bliss. Some fans are still fuming. Others feel dejected. A section wish to punish Rooney with their silence at games. Others say he is no longer "one of us" This family is now officially dysfunctional.

Personally, I do feel bit sick by it all. It's like one of those crass pantomimes that get put on at Christmas...the ones with the mildly sexist/racist jokes that turns your stomach every three minutes..all cheap and poorly acted. It was NAILED ON that Rooney was going. The City link was entirely credible and it seems it was just a matter of time before we saw Carlos Tevez Part 2. But somehow...the pre-emptive strike never came.

I feel Rooney and Stretford had every intention of taking their business elsewhere. The £400k a week on offer was just too good to turn down. Which makes it even more strange that Rooney has remained at United on a deal that is less than half that amount. On Twitter I hammered Rooney for being the epitome of greed. I understand that there's no loyalty in football..not really. But when someone is prepared to trot across a city to our biggest rival, and wear their filthy strip week in week out, rubbing it in our faces like that Argentine does, well it just doesn't sit very well. However, Rooney's statement in reaction to Fergie's orchestra of melancholy at Tuesdays press conference was not entirely untrue. In fact it was fairly accurate. Rooney questioned the future squad (note: not the current squad) and the clubs ambition to win trophies. This is nothing compared to what we've all said about the Glazers and their finances! He also hinted at the possible retirement of Sir Alex being a factor. Again, he is right. We all fear that nasty day when Fergie retires to that great big wine cellar in the Cheshire sky. But the fact remained he was saying to the world that he was leaving Manchester United...and it hurt us like hell!! It was the equivalent of fan rape.

The situation seemed like it could not be rectified. So what happened? Fergie gets everyone in a room and does one of his famous Jedi mind tricks. Just as he did to Eric Cantona post kung fu kick when he chased the King to Paris, sat him down and did his best Yoda impression, leading the Frenchman back to a court house in Croydon. The manager is the master of things like this. And his most hated enemy...the press...has been manipulated into becoming his most powerful weapon in his quest to retain Rooney. It's up there with anything Shakespeare wrote. A majestic tragi-comedy. It appears all Wayne really needed was great big cuddle...and an extra £90k a week..or the equivalent amount to which ONE of Yaya Toure's legs earns every week. It's a bit of a bargain when you look at it like that. If Fergie had really questioned Rooney's desire to wear the shirt then he would have been gone. Or Ruud Van Nistelrooyed as I call it.

Sir Alex is the ultimate chess player. The ultimate politician. The ultimate reverend preacher. He sells United to the world..and to his players. The protector of the faith. He said that "Rooney just needed reminding how big Manchester United are" a way that a priest takes confession and dishes out 3 Our Fathers and 4 Hail the member of his flock direction, forgiveness and absolution. Rooney has fallen back in line having well and truly seen the light. A vision of the future burned into his mind by Fergie. And for those jumping on the conspiracy theories, you need to calm down. This situation is not the same as Beckham or Ronaldo. Firstly, the boss wanted shot of Becks, and with Ron we knew he was always going to go to the club of his dreams. Neither of these apply to Rooney's situation. I doubt Wazza has ever dreamed of wearing one of Ricky Hatton's cast off strips!

So now we have to trundle along in a temporary kerfuffle. We're all a bit dazed. A bit confused and punch drunk. But the minute Rooney pulls on that shirt again, and produces the form he had pre World Cup...I get the feeling we will start to forgive a little more freely.

Time is a healer. Trophies cure disease. Rooney's rehabilitation starts today.


  1. Well said. Times on our side. :). Looking forward to the next rollarcoaster ride..... I truly hope he comes out all boots blazing and gets the goal record to prove to himself and the fans where his heart lies.

  2. Nothing to see, move along please!

    Allsorts of conspiracy theories now abound and it's difficult to see which of the central characters emerges as villain of the piece.

    Sir Alex Ferguson left the door slightly ajar for the player by suggesting that same door "is still open" whilst adding a note of caution about insufficient respect for the club, and, on balance probably emerges unscathed from the pantomime that has been the past week.

    Wayne Rooney has, being charitable, acted with
    incredible naivety and a characteristic lack of intellect. Who else in the past and future histories of Manchester United could have said what he widely reported to have said and not been shown the door? Ryan Giggs maybe. Rooney needs the fatherly arm around the shoulder Sir Alex Ferguson has clearly provided to date, and, amongst other things, pldged in future.

    What is less clear is the involvement, and to what extent of Paul Stretford, Rooney's agent who, likely as not, will prove a soft target as more details of the new deal emerge.

    Now the repair job begins for Wazza and his hitherto adoring public. Better for him to bite the bullet with a high profile match at Old Trafford in front of 76,000 - one problem -
    Rooney has a few weekends off coming up with 'that' ankle injury.

    A wise man might choose to spend some of that free time with Paul Scholes or Ryan Giggs!!

  3. Sorry fellas' but think that it's very loyal of you to stick by this absolute embarrassment of an england representative! If he wasn't thinking of his wages at the start of the season, you'd probabley be top now! I bet he "can't wait to play again"! I like working double time too!

    Think fergies got this one wrong fellas' soz

    stoke fan

  4. I never understood why Tevez is so hated. Yes going to City was a horrible thing to do but I cant blame him the way he was treated. He was dropped for berbatov for no apparent reason other than that he was on loan and Berba was 30m. The rubbish that was written about tevez that season on him only scoring 5 league goals and not being worth the money, and he is delusional if he thinks he is going to get a game at city... blah blah blah. Since then everyone one of his detractors have had to eat their words. Tevez was the real deal, he proved it in his first season(you know the one all his detractors conveniently forget to mention) and then his second season he was simply not played enough. Fergie fucked up that situation and he is fucking up this one as well.

    As much as I hate Rooneys antics I cant find fault in his logic. Fergie has been asleep at the wheel for awhile now. all this nonsense about "no value in the transfer market" is a joke and its insulting. Is the money there or not? If not then please fergie speak up and out the glazers for the blood sucking parasites they are. Why the man is risking his legacy over these clowns is beyond me.

    And before you guys get all up in arms about me defending Tevez, ill say this. I am a Manchester United Supporter and a huge admirer of SAF. But he is not perfect and I always reserve my right to speak about my club when I feel they are in the wrong. Defending Tevez doesnt make me a City fan, I can just be my fanhood to the side when the time comes to be impartial.